Well, it’s happened again. Another advisor has taken me on and then found that he didn’t have the money to support me. Tom was very up front and apologetic about it, and I know it’s not his fault that his grant wasn’t approved, but it doesn’t make my life any less frustrating. Now I have a relatively short amount of time to find a new advisor, this time pretty far removed from my initial interests, or else *gasp* enter the real world.

In preparation for what now seems inevitable, I consulted with my good friend Gavin and put together my first actual resume geared towards someone who doesn’t have a Ph.D. to read. Surprisingly, I was able to get it up to two pages with my big emphasis on teaching, and there was a certain cool feeling about writing “Distinguished Professor” for two references followed by two successful business people.

All of this has made me feel very introspective about what amounts to my lifelong dream of going into academia to teach and study physics. Watching Tom struggle to get grant money to fund me made me realize that taking on graduate students is a lot more work, struggle and failure than I initially thought it would be, and since getting money is 99% of being a professor, I just don’t think I could handle it. Then I thought of Aikido, and how much I enjoy studying it and teaching it (as well as I can), and realized that the void that physics will leave if I leave it will quickly be filled by Aikido. I plan to stay on Long Island for at least another year to get to Shodan, possibly Nidan, before I leave for warmer climes, and spread Aikido to others.

Basically, I want to teach and learn something that I will always find new nuances to, and as long as I’m always improving myself I think I will be happy, whatever it is that pays the bills.